Brooke Castillo

No is the Beginning

When someone says no to me, I consider that the beginning of our negotiation.

I am not talking about a personal no, given as a boundary;  but I am talking about no's that come from a belief that something is impossible.

For example, if I ask if something can be printed in two days for half the price and they tell me no.

Then we begin.

And I have turned so many no's into yes's in my life.

So many impossibilities into possibilities.

So when my kids hear the word no and argue.

I'm proud.

My husband.  Is not.

He thinks kids should:

    Take no for an answer.

    Not argue.

    Obey out of respect.

    Not question us and our reasons.

I think they should question everything we say, and understand it, and work us with everything they've got.

I teach them that when they want something they shouldn't ask a yes or no question.

For example, if they want ice cream they should ask:

When would be a great time to get some ice cream today?

instead of

Can we get some ice cream?

But that's not how my husband was raised.

He respects authority.

I defy it.

And I hope my kids will too.

(Sorry, honey. I love you.)

Coaches on Fire!

I just want to take a moment to acknowledge all of the students who have gone through the school. If that's you, you know what I am talking about.  This school is hard.  It requires you to show up fully and without distraction.  

And student after student is doing it.  Doing the hard work of coaching themselves, being coached, taking risks coaching others.

I am in awe of you all!

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Thank goodness you aren't everybody!

I love you guys.

Check out our latest certified coach's video.  I love it!

Congratulations Laura Rosenberg!

http://youtu.be/Hu3rJDTN83s

 

 

Are You an Expert at Suffering?

I spend a lot of my day convincing my clients they are wrong.

They don't concede easily.

They fight for their limitations, their problems, their suffering.

They are so good at "doing" their problems, they don't want to give them up.

They have practiced them for years.

They have owned them like family heirlooms.

They have lead with them in friendships, therapy sessions, and journal entries.

It's hard for them to let go. To be wrong.

But eventually I show them that sucking at suffering is a good thing.

Letting go of expertise in specific long-held problems is one of the biggest reliefs to experience.

It's okay to be wrong.

Be wrong for your own sake.

 

What Matters

When I sell a book, I make about $10.

Money.

I love money and I love earning it.  Every single dollar of it.

But it's not what really matters to me.

Sometimes, when I sell a book, I get a letter from a reader.

Here is one I received last week:

 

Subject:  THANK YOU THANK YOU

Dear Brooke,
 
So I usually don't write letters like this but if I didn't write you I would just never forgive myself. :)
 
Last night I was cruising Amazon and "because you looked at this book you might like this one" and up came "If I'm So Smart Why Cant I Lose Weight" and I was like "yeah exactly" So I went on and read the book description and thought "Hmmm" so then I went onto the reviews.....RAVE reviews. So I said "Well what is it going to hurt nothing else is working". Got it on my Kindle Fire and started it last night. I was then up till Midnight. Then got up this morning and after my niece and nephew were dropped off I got to reading again. My life is now totally changed. Eating for fuel.....finding out why I ate for whatever reason I did. I figured it all out in like 1 day. I am 37 years old.....been over weight since I was 10. Little by little it crept up and now I am 281 lbs. I gained a lot of it after my dad passed away very un-expectantly 7 years ago last month. I went on diet after diet since I was in high school. NOTHING helped. I would do really well for a while like you said people do and then I would go house-sit and be alone and go get food. Not hungry....lonely. But after reading (not even done yet) what I did today my life is totally different. Totally changed. I just can't wait to read the rest.
 
Everything you say in there is like you are talking to me. Eating for feelings and then feeling horrible (physically & mentally) afterwards knowing that wasn't going to help what was bothering me. And then today, when I went to get one of the kids I nanny for and the mom was very inconsiderate I said to myself "It has nothing to do with me....its because of how she is and whats going on inside her" and just went on about my day. And if that had happened yesterday I would have gotten so upset (inside) and then  when I left I would have gone to get something to eat to "feel better" but not really in the long run. And leaving the house today I felt free and very controlled. It was a very bizarre feeling since I always took everything so personal and if I "felt" bad and nothing made me "feel" better than McDonalds or something utterly ridiculous. UNTIL TODAY!!!!
 
So basically I am saying THANK YOU sooooo very much for writing the book that is changing my life. :) I cant wait for the future.
 
Xo,
Michelle

 

There's no amount of money I would exchange for receiving this letter.

This is what matters.

To me.